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Leaving, But Not Letting Go: Staying Connected with My Sister While I’m at College

Leaving, But Not Letting Go: Staying Connected with My Sister While I’m at College

I should be excited as I sit here, filling out college applications and writing essays. This is the moment I’ve been working toward for years — the next big step in my life. I’m about to head off to college, dive into my passions, and explore everything the world offers. But instead of being purely excited, there’s this overwhelming sense of guilt.

You see, I’m not just thinking about myself. I’m thinking about my little sister Chloe and how my leaving for college might impact her life. Chloe isn’t just any sibling; she’s autistic and thrives on routine. I’ve been a part of that routine for as long as I can remember, and the thought of leaving her behind feels like I am abandoning her. I know that this step is something I need to take, but how can I move forward without feeling like I’m leaving her behind?

The Guilt of Leaving

Chloe and I have a special bond that goes beyond just the typical sibling relationship. Growing up, I learned early on that Chloe needed stability, and in many ways, I became part of the foundation of her world. Whether helping her with her daily tasks, being there for her therapies, or spending time together, I’ve been a constant presence.

With college on the horizon, I worry about what happens when that constant isn’t there. What if my absence disrupts her routine? What if she feels lost without me around? It’s hard to think about how my leaving could make things harder for her.

At the same time, I know I have to chase my dreams. It’s important for me to grow and learn, just as it’s crucial for Chloe to have her routine. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. The guilt can be overwhelming, and sometimes, I wonder if I’m being selfish by leaving at all.

Finding a Balance

I realized I needed to find a way to be there for Chloe, even if I’m physically far away. So, I did some research and came up with a few ideas that might help me stay engaged in her life while I’m at school.

1. Video Calls and Virtual Hangouts: Technology is a game-changer. I can schedule regular FaceTime or Zoom calls with Chloe to check in and hang out. Whether talking, playing an online game, or watching a show together, these virtual hangouts will help Chloe see that I’m still here for her, even when I’m miles away.

2. Routine Reminders: Chloe loves routine. One way to help her adjust is to create a schedule for when we can talk or “spend time” together, even if it’s virtual. Setting times in the week can make the transition smoother for her and give her something consistent to look forward to.

3. Send Personalized Messages: Whether it’s a video message or a handwritten letter, I can send little reminders that I’m thinking of her. These small gestures can make a big difference in helping Chloe feel connected to me, even when I’m at college.

4. Include Her in My College Life: I want Chloe to feel like she’s part of my journey, not just someone I left behind. I can send her pictures, videos, or souvenirs from campus to show her what I’m up to. This way, she’s part of my new life, too, which might excite her about what I’m doing.

5. Stay Involved with Her Interests: Chloe has her favorite activities and hobbies, and I can stay engaged by asking about them or finding ways to participate from afar. Maybe we can listen to the same music or work on a project together, even if I’m not physically there.

Looking Ahead

It’s tough to think about leaving home and stepping into the unknown when there’s so much to consider about Chloe’s needs. But I’ve realized I don’t have to choose between my future and being there for my sister. I can do both with a bit of creativity and effort.

Leaving for college doesn’t mean I’m leaving Chloe behind. It just means we’re both growing in different ways. She’ll adjust, and so will I, and I know that no matter where I go, I’ll always be there for her.

For anyone else in a similar situation, it’s okay to feel guilty. But remember that part of growing up is finding new ways to stay connected to the people who matter most, no matter where life takes you. Chloe will always be my sister, and I’ll always find a way to be there for her — even from miles away.

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